Don't Let Social Anxiety Keep you from Enjoying Gatherings

This time of year often brings impromptu gatherings, and while I usually enjoy them, this situation has been challenging. Two weeks ago, I fell while entering the gym, injuring my left shoulder, which limits my range of motion and causes significant pain. Despite this, I’ve been managing work and using ice packs on my shoulder and back. Recently, we made a quick trip to Tennessee to bring our son back to Tampa from Missouri. Although the trip was enjoyable, we returned to work feeling exhausted. Then, on Saturday, just as I was about to serve dinner, I learned that other family members would be arriving soon. I accidentally bought parsley instead of cilantro and now need to prepare a meal for five instead of three. The house is in disarray, but I’m confident I’ll find a way to make it work. I've already done two loads of laundry, and I know I can handle this gathering. Sometimes we have impromptu gatherings this time of year, but for me, it could not have happened at a worse time. Let me explain. Two weeks ago, I had a fall while entering the gym that severely injured my left shoulder, resulting in no range of motion, pain, and swelling in an area where I already have a torn rotator cuff. I have been unable to do housework, bathe, dress, or sleep comfortably during this time. To complicate matters, I had to use that arm to type at work, all while wearing ice packs on my shoulder and lower back around the clock to help with the pain. Then, unexpectedly, we had to make a trip to Tennessee to pick up our son, who wants to relocate back to Tampa from Missouri. The trip was pleasant, but we didn't sleep for more than a day and had to return to work this past Thursday and Friday, feeling like zombies. My husband hasn’t been feeling well either and looks extremely tired. Then, on Saturday afternoon, just as I was about to serve dinner, we found out that other family members would be visiting and arriving in minutes. To make matters worse, I accidentally bought parsley instead of cilantro and now have to figure out how to prepare a meal for five when I only made enough for three. I’m feeling overwhelmed and horrified—the house is a mess, there isn't a clean dish in sight, and all I've managed to accomplish are two back-to-back loads of laundry.Sometimes we have impromptu gatherings this time of year, but for me, it could not have happened at a worse time. Let me explain. Two weeks ago, I had a fall while entering the gym that severely injured my left shoulder, resulting in no range of motion, pain, and swelling in an area where I already have a torn rotator cuff. I have been unable to do housework, bathe, dress, or sleep comfortably during this time. To complicate matters, I had to use that arm to type at work, all while wearing ice packs on my shoulder and lower back around the clock to help with the pain. Then, unexpectedly, we had to make a trip to Tennessee to pick up our son, who wants to relocate back to Tampa from Missouri. The trip was pleasant, but we didn't sleep for more than a day and had to return to work this past Thursday and Friday, feeling like zombies. My husband hasn’t been feeling well either and looks extremely tired. Then, on Saturday afternoon, just as I was about to serve dinner, we found out that other family members would be visiting and arriving in minutes. To make matters worse, I accidentally bought parsley instead of cilantro and now have to figure out how to prepare a meal for five when I only made enough for three. I’m feeling overwhelmed and horrified—the house is a mess, there isn't a clean dish in sight, and all I've managed to accomplish are two back-to-back loads of laundry.Sometimes we have impromptu gatherings this time of year, but for me, it could not have happened at a worse time. I will explain. Two weeks ago I had a fall on the way into the gym that messed up my left shoulder so much that I had no range of motion, pain, and swelling in the shoulder where I already have a torn rotator cuff. I cannot do housework, bathe, dress, or sleep comfortably all this time. To further complicate the issue I had to use that arm to type at work and I was wearing ice packs on my shoulder and lower back 24/7 to help with the pain. Then by surprise, we needed to make a trip to Tennessee to pick up our son who would like to relocate back to Tampa from Missouri. The trip was pleasant but we have not slept for more than a day and had to go back to work this past Thursday and Friday like zombies. My husband has been not feeling well either and looks so tired. Then on Saturday afternoon, when I was about to serve the evening meal, we found out that other family members were coming to visit and would be arriving in minutes. I am dealing with accidentally buying parsley in place of cilantro and thinking about how I can fix dinner for five when I only have made enough food for the three of us. I am shutting down. I am horrified. The house is a mess. There is not a clean dish in the house and all I got done were two back-to-back loads of laundry.

It has been a long time...

Well I can hardly believe it has been two years since I have posted.  So many things, new jobs, lost jobs, wheelchairs and gaining mobility.  Losing weight and gaining weight.  

For Better or Worse

Well while somethings get better...like loving my new job, other things get worse like the home front. Not I do not mean crisis level worse...just slowly things are getting harder and harder to get done. The one I love is humble and hardworking. He is becoming more forgetful and needs to rest. He is 10 years my senior. I can see that it is going to be me to carry the load of the responsibilities for the rest of our lives just as I did through one of the most trying decades of my life. Oh Jehovah give me the strenghth and endurance to keep pur home in order. Help me win in my marriage. We have come so far.

Finally Starting to get better

A month ago I thought I might just have a heart attack, a nervous breakdown or crash the car because I was so sick, so stressed and my health was the worst it has ever been in my entire life. I'm still not out if the woods. I recently was diagnosed with sleep apnea.  I still have the malaise glaze brain fog but not too the horrendous degree it was in August and September. Thanks to Jehovah there is a great improvement in my sense of joy, regaining my happiness and coming out of a crippling bout of depression and anxiety. I am able to spend quality time with my family and go preaching with my Christian brothers and sisters more often . As my spiritual health improves so is my outlook on life. It was really terrible for such a long time to be suffering so. I really didn't know what it was going to do but now there's hope.

Two weeks ago before the summer session started I was violently ill. A horrible stomach virus...well it is back to attack me for a second time.  Wow all my strength just left me.  It is incredible.  I hurt all over.  Thank goodness for organic unsweetened applesauce and Sprite.  Good thing was I lost 7 lbs.  Bad thing is it is a lovely long weekend and I do not have enough energy to find my way out of a paper bag.  There is so much I would love to do right now, and many things that must be done and I just do not know how that will be.  I am praying for recovery back to better health.

Relief just cannot come fast enough.  I am in a battle for freedom and justice by decree.  Fortunately the law was on my side.  I just want to have time to heal.  There are so many wounds and I am so tired.  I cannot go on like this much longer.  I want my life back.  I want to smile again someday.  I want to laugh.  I want to have fun for no reason at all.  I want to be with my family, my family as much and as often as I can.  I have been wasting away in these four walls.  I should have said "No!" a long, long time ago.  I cannot undo the the damage done to me, but I can certainly move on and I plan on doing that.  I cannot wait to see who I am now, and who I will become free from the clutches of my worst enemy.  Evil so thick you could smell it.  Don't ever trust anyone who is only after whatever and whoever they can take advantage of.  There is something very wrong with people like that and you and I cannot make them any better.  That's for damn sure.

Way to go Dre from USF

Had a bit of a time trying to find a specialist that could really get me the repair job I needed for me personally.  I called everywhere in town and no one had anyone truly experienced to help me with my problem.  I finally talked to Dre at USF and told him this "If you were looking for someone to paint your car just the way you want it would you go first to Econo Paint of would you rather go to somewhere like 813?" Fortunately being from my neighborhood he got exactly what I was talking about.  Dre got me hooked up for the earliest appointment.  I am ready for the make over to begin.