The New Me

Viva La Guerra!

Christmas Memories and Traditions

This year we made lots of memories, with our family. We stayed up late watching movies about compassion for your fellow human being. We got to visit with our family in San Antonio. We visited with my sister, her husband and two boys. The boys were so thrilled with the construction set that Santa brought they forgot all about the electronic toys they got - and just began to build together. It was precious. I gave the doggies in San Antonio each a Scooby snack and lots of love. It had been raining really heavy all night Christmas Eve and was still cool Christmas morning. We spent the night at my brothers and went out to eat at an awesome Chinese restaurant for dinner. The seafood was to die for and the service was great. My brother is going to be moving to the South Pacific soon, so he gave LeLe the gift of a lifetime, a precious red tabby named Kitty. She fell in love with that cat and could not wait to bring him home. We just lost Ruby last week, so it was really nice to be able to have a house full of pets again. It is great to have Alex as a companion, she is such a great doggie, so sweet and so good. Mitten is very loyal and has been sleeping in my room each night this week. I imagine our new little orange lion will be lounging around in LeLe's girl's palace on the sofa listening to music. I just watched the Cowboys and the Eagles game...Philadelphia won, they played very well. After the game was over I was looking for something cheerful and I luckily I got to see a really cool episode of Everybody Hates Chris on CW. It is such a great show. I am so happy that there is a show like this, like regular people, on TV, I really enjoyed it. Later tonight I'd like to go see the lights on 37th Street - I've been wanting to go for weeks but just have been so busy. I have all that I have wished for, a day to be thankful for the gift of forgiveness that Christmas brought the world, thankfulness for a beautiful day today, a great time with my daughter and my family, loving pets and the memory of an absolutely beautiful day today. It is just like a mirror of my life, after the wind died down and the storm cleared there was a beautiful day waiting just on the horizon. I cannot wait for 2007, it is only a week away!

Ruby Pooby's life has come to an abrupt end

On Thursday, December 21, 2006 my beloved but determined doggie, Ruby died doing what she loved to do most, escape and run around the neighborhood. She squeezed through a small crack between the fence post and the edge of the house. She first ran to our neighbor's garage, rummaged around to discover some creature, then bolted for the front of the house. She was headed around the block, but must have seen something across the street at Reilly Elementary that caught her eye. Sometimes cats hang out near the bushes in the front of the school at night. Our neighbors west of us were just coming home from the grocery store when they discovered that Ruby had been hit by a car. The gentleman went to get a flash light to see if Ruby was okay or not. He came and told us that Ruby had been hit by a car and did not make it. We wrapped her in a beautiful blue spiral towel, and laid her to rest. Alex was sad. I feel so sad for what has happened. Ruby was always determined to find a means to escape and go on an adventure, only this time it was her undoing, as it was a means to the end.

Interns Taking Dictation

You know the show with Donald Trump...well what would you do if you had to take a letter in dictation? Would you be able to handle it? Well I can. I can write fast enough and it still is legible. You must understand there are underlying risks in taking on a job like this, there is lots and lots of training that goes on, you've got to be ready to meet the demands of the job.

New Year Coming

I am so looking forward to New Year's Day this year. I want to be up at midnight to greet the new year head on. I know what lies ahead will change my life forever. There is absolutely no looking back. I am going to take the GRE. I am going to go back to school, the same year Lesley does. I am going to work this summer and get ahead. I need to renew my spirit, create art, live and love living. I need to be me. I will revel in my freedom, and celebrate my independence because there is nothing worth mourning over in the past, that is for damn sure. Anything worth having is already here, and whatever else is only good fortune. The past is permanently closed ... for remodeling. The present is cleansing and growing, and the future is mine!

Happy Holidays form Your Girls

Dear Family and Friends:

It is hard to tell if we were naughty or nice in this picture. We were nice of course. You'll have to email us to get our new address and telephone number. We've moved to a new house!

LeLe is studying for finals all this week. I am planning for a field trip to McDonald's on Thursday. What are you doing?

We have decorated with Christmas Lights, but still need to get our tree up. We also need to decorate the classroom.

Have fun and we hope you get a kick out of our pic.

Well Here We Are...The Dawn of a New Day

List of likes: dog yawns, cat's purring, anchovies, olives, wood floors, blonde hair, fur coat [fake fur is okay too], quiet, loud music, piano, Uncle Chris' Steak Seasoning, yummy noodles, grilled salmon, peanut butter, good color combinations, blue glass, grilled cheese, pickles, SOS, sunny days, roses blooming, good music, laughing with friends, being told "step aside" by Randy, red couches - like in the 60's, mini Coopers, VW bugs, Toyato Tundra trucks, feeding KIX cereal to pigeons at UT, blowing bubbles, pepperoni pizza, triscuits with salmon cream cheese, "Cheese for Dogs!" is always nice, barbeque - anytime, any day, Emma Long Park any time any day, Bull Creek, Barton Springs, Mustang Island, traveling, day trips, test driving cars for fun, Genuine Joe's Coffee Shop, Aranda's Restaurant - especially bean & cheese tacos with jalepenos, pozole, Oaxacan Tameleo - moja de ajo tilapia encrusted with garlic, Monty Python, Coneheads, Keeping Up Appearances, Are You Being Served? - GTO, Gokusen, soft blankets, thick, heavy comforters - the Japanese kind, cotton clothes, comfortable shoes, jeans, pretty dresses, earrings, necklaces, beads, making our own ringtones, spending time with close friends, being dragged to AFS films by best friend, having girl's night out with best friend, looking for houses, Gregory Gym - especially the sauna, jacuzzis, Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, watching Luke run, listening to him talk too, cheering for Kiki, sitting with Jamal's mom, sitting with Russel's mom at the football games, enjoying school, looking forward to going to UT again, yeah baby, we are coming back. This Thanksgiving we have so much to be thankful for.

Nausea vs Nurture

You may well know that I have been suffering from nausea due to stress from being given some really crappy news. Here is what I found that can describe the way I feel when I have to be in the presence of the bearer's of the bad news: nauseate - bother, disturb, make sick, offend, reluct, repel, repulse, revolt, sicken. That just about covers it.

On the other hand when I am in the presence of people who love and care for me - and all together have a different capacity for compassion and acceptance here is what I feel like when I am with them: affection, allegiance, appreciation, cherishing, delight, devotion, enjoyment, fidelity, fondness, friendship, regard, respect, tenderness.

This makes it very clear. I will do anything and everything to stay away from people who make me feel nausea, and surround myself with people who make me feel healthy and whole.

Moving on Saturday

I'm moving to the new house on Saturday afternoon. Last night I got in late and just headed over there. It was so quiet and peaceful. I ended up sleeping on the floor, but I slept like I hadn't slept in years. I think on Saturday I'm just going to place the boxes off to one side, make the bed and then sleep, sleep, sleep all weekend. No phones, no nothing, just peace, quiet and resting. I'm so tired now, but I just can't rest. I've started studying meditation to help me through this difficult time. I was reunited with some old Soka Gakkai friends here in Austin. My qi is depleted, I must do everything I can to replenish my qi. I did not realize just unhealthy all this had become until I spent on night away from the chaos and the pain. It is going to take some time to recover from the hurt and neglect. I feel certain that a healthy life awaits. I cannot wait to ride my bike along Town Lake, or take the dogs for a walk on Shoal Creek, or go play the piano at the Union with LeLe. We just need to be with our family and our friends period. No turning back, just forge on to what lies ahead.

So Furious I could just scream

Oh man! I don't think there are words to describe how I feel at this moment. It is a wonder that I can even sit here and type. What a waste. I tried and nothing I do changes it, and it is just such a waste. All your dreams just thrown away, like they did not matter. Maybe it is a nightmare now instead of a dream. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and smell the coffee.

A good friend sent this information to me from this website. http://www.wellnessgoods.com/messages.asp
Here is an excerpt from the beginning of the article: "How water reflects our consciousness by Stace Sharp Water has a very important message for us. Water is telling us to take a much deeper look at ourselves. When we do look at ourselves through the mirror of water, the message becomes amazingly, crystal, clear. We know that human life is directly connected to the quality of our water, both within and all around us.The photographs and information in this article reflect the work of Masaru Emoto, a creative and visionary Japanese researcher. Mr. Emoto has published an important book, "The Message from Water" , from the findings of his worldwide research. If you have any doubt that your thoughts affect everything in, and around you, the information and photographs that are presented here, taken from the book of his published results, will change your mind and profoundly alter your beliefs."

The words I would say to reflect powerful positive change would be:
Nam-Myo-Ho-Renge-Kyo

Appalacian Memories

Whatever became of Jonari? I saw the wind blowing through the trees one night and remembered long ago the cool autumn air of Virginia. It was the same on the moonlit nights along the Atlantic coast where the cool water would lap along the shore. Will he find Sara Narmaii among the hills and rivers some day? She will find a tiny sailboat sent from the west drifting with a tiny message written on the bottom: "At last I found you". Watch the whispering wind on a moonlit night and you will see the breeze gently going fron place to place until at last it can rest in the valley.

So much to do, so little time

Challenges...I want to meet them. My energy level is not as high as it usually is. Starting the year out ill took its toll, now I'm playing catch up. Free time is a luxury. The desire and the inspiration still comes, but the time and having the reserve to create is what is missing. I feel like if I had more energy I could work faster. If I could work faster, I'd get done so that I could actually have some free time to spend with family or friends. There must be a reason for all this. I just have to get past this difficult bump in the road. I missed watching Korean drama so much that I watched the first half of My Sassy Girl with Barry on Sunday night. Oh to hear Hangul again, so nice. Aigoo!

More Photos from our Trip to Florida

Ricky

Hope

Danielle

LeLe downloaded photos from her camera...we thought you might like to see them.

Marian & LeLe at The Pier

Cynthia at The Pier in St. Petersburg

McCallum 49 Anderson 12 - TACO SHACK BOWL

Jean, LeLe, Marian and Nefertari went to see the game together. We played at House Park against our long time rivals the Anderson High School Trojans. I brought the Hawaiian Tiki for Kiki that we carried all the way to Regionals last year for good luck. I got to say hi to Kiki just as the game started, and I said hello to Sierra, Chris's sister and Chris. The band rocked. It was funny though, you could tell that Anderson's football team had younger players, but we had a lot of seniors, and it was just the opposite with the bands, the Trojan band had many returning players, while we had some young ones out there --- trying to keep up with the seniors. It was a great game. Afterwards we all went to McDonald's to get shakes, on the way we drove by TACO SHACK and cheered! GO FIGHT WIN MAC Knights!

School Started - Go Fight Win McCallum Knights

Well Kim and I are starting on week 3 of the first six weeks with our freshman & sophomore class. Teenagers will keep you young. I can not believe it but I have asthma, a severe allergic reaction to dust/mold. I wondered why my laryngitis never cleared up, who knew. I thought that I must really be under the weather. My lung capacity was down to around 300 cc. I'm starting to respond to treatment though, thank goodness, I need to be as energetic as possible at home and at school. I took communion at home today as I was feeling a little woozy this morning, but now I feel much better. Kim and I both worked on getting the tasks for pre-vocational training ready for the week. I stayed and worked on some communication boards, and finished out 5th, 6th and 7th period criteria charts and rubrics. In our class there are as many as four subjects being taught simultaneously so it can get pretty busy. I can't wait to watch a new drama sometime soon...maybe after there is some cooler weather. It's too bad that Hurricane Ernesto did not send some friendly rain showers our way. It has been so hot and dry here in Austin for so long, the grass in the front yard looks like an old broom. Poor little plants. Well I've got to go to bed - up and at 'em. We've got our first pep rally on Friday so we'll be practicing our go fight win cheer all week. Maybe we'll win the spirit stick.

As a counter proposal Marian threatens to eat a leaf of lettuce whole!

Marian told LeLe to try the octopus from the ceviche mixto at Costa Verde in Tampa.

St. Pete Beach toward the Don Cesar Resort

Pass A Grille - end of the island at St. Pete Beach

St. Pete Beach - First Part of Trip to Florida

Marian buries LeLe in the sand at St. Pete Beach

and she turned into a mermaid

LeLe's "What?" pose next to Marian

LeLe and Marian had fun feeding red grapes to the sea gulls, swimming and then playing in the sand at the beach this past Tuesday morning. We were at the tip of the island of St. Pete Beach between the Don Cesar Resort and Pass A Grille at the southernmost tip of islands along the Gulf Coast of Tampa Bay. We at at Pujano's Italian Restaurant that has been in the area since 1971. What fun! We'll post more pictures as we go.

LeLe's 16th Birthday

Wendell Mayes, LeLe Pacini and Brian Pacini at Barton Springs Pool celebrate LeLe'll be able to drive now. Watch out people on MoPac, there's a former blonde at the wheel. LeLe will attend LASA in the fall at LBJ. Brian is a senior at Anderson HS.

Last Week of Summer School - Watching JDorama & Korean Dramas Lately too!

It is the last week of summer school at Austin High School. My students have done very well, especially in cooking and in math this session. All of my guys are studying hard in communication this summer, and making good grades. Tomorrow we will go on a field trip in the afternoon to Deep Eddy Pool. It should be fun.
Barry & I recently watched a Korean movie called MARATHON about a young athelete in Korea who just happened to have autism. My friend from Hangul 1 class loaned to us over the summer while she was visiting Korea. It is a powerful story of self-determination and finding one' niche in the world. I highly recommend it.
Right now we are watching the 1993 Japanese drama DOUBLE KITCHENS about a young married couple who live with the groom's family in an adjacent town home, hence the name double kitchen. His parents are very traditional. There are still two sisters living at home when the drama begins, but slowly they grow up, marry and seek jobs or start a family of their own. The young couple are busy with work and learning how to navigate newlywed life with all the formalities of family matters and tradition. It is cute and funny.
If you really want to see a great Korean drama try one of these:
I'm Sorry I Love You - old favorite, jealousy, glamour and suspense
Sweet Love - innocent, heartwarming and romantic
or
Save the Last Dance for Me - wow a new favorite!!! This is a heart wrenching rollercoaster of events. I highly recommend it.

More than Words

Well, what'ta'ya know...things finally did change. It did not happen on my timeline. It was divine intervention. All the many years led up to a miraculous Friday at school. I understood why I had gone through so many challenges...it was all preparing me for God's work I need to be ready to do. Sometimes you have to look carefully to listen. You've probably heard of "not seeing the forest for the trees" haven't you? Imagine trying to understand someone who quietly communicates, but it was hard for others to understand. Why this week we could make the connection, and see that they were reaching out all along is nothing short of a miracle. You know it is grace given when you know that you have not done anything to deserve such a blessing as special as this...it makes you feel thankful to be alive, it makes you feel happy. I am so looking forward to the challenges that are ahead of me. I want to face it. I want to grow. I know that my students are going to teach me so much more than I've ever expected. College was great, training is always helpful, but it is life's greatest challenges that really prepare you for what needs to be done. I was amazed that one of my students has been so patient for me to finally get what he has been trying to say all along. He just laughed at me like "now you get it"! What a joy. I am thankful for all these things. Even though I do not know what may happen, I have faith that it is going to be as it should be.

Yeah I am going to be the new Life Skills Teacher at McCallum High School!

More Prom Pictures

Jean Carlo & Lauren

Jean is a graduating senior from LASA - LBJ Magnet HS.

Lauren is a junior at LASA - LBJ Magnet HS.

This is a picture of me and my teacher SunSengNim Lyu from our awards ceremony commemorating the 20th Anniversary of the Austin Korean School. I am a Hangul 1 student. This was such an important day for all of us. I used to teach 6th grade at Webb Middle School, where the Austin Korean School campus is located on Saturdays. I had wanted to learn how to read and write in Hangul for a long time. My teacher helped me to do this.
I hope that one day Hangul will be available in public schools.

LeLe and Wayne at LBJ Prom 2006

Lesley is a sophomore at McCallum High School.

Wayne is a graduating senior at LBJ Magnet High School.

Jean, C and Wayne have been friends at LBJ for many years.

4th Anniversary Trip to Perdenales State Park

This year the river was picture perfect. We really enjoyed camping and hiking by the Perdenales River. We've gone there every year since we got married.

Lights went out at Fry's...just as we hit the door

Tonight LeLe and I drove up to north Austin, to Fry's Electronics. We were looking for a MP3 player. Whew luckily they had one on a ladder, like divine intervention, then we zipped up to the register, checked out and then it was literally...LIGHTS OUT. Someone must have hit a transformer or something in the neighborhood. The whole store was in pitch black darkness. I'll never forget that. Poor LeLe is having to read an assigned novel in English that is a bit of a dry read, but required reading no less. I thought it might be easier to listen to it so we downloaded, clear and cool and must faster than reading at your own pace. A typical novel takes 3-4 hours when read by a narrator, this one even has sound effects. She says it makes it sound like a old time radio program. We had fun. It was a bit of an adventure.

Maybe I'm the one who is a bit Aspy

Somethings happened this week that helped me to see how I am more like my students with Autism and Asperger's than different. I realized that my greatest joy comes from spending time with the kids. I enjoy my co-workers so much, and we do a lot to solve problems and help teachers and kids. We tag team cases all the time. But sometimes when we are all together as a group, especially if I enter into a meeting or discussion that is already in progress, I end up being a "just me". For those of you who don't know what being a just me is visit Michelle Garcia-Winner's website, www.socialthinking.com, and you will soon learn all you ever wanted to know. Well I can say one thing, I think it is great that God gave me something that helps me understand my students better. I just hope that I can develop the other things I need to be part of a working group, and a friend to my office mates, something I've always wanted to be.

I had the most memorable and fun trip to Florida. I flew there with my brother Randy. We stayed with my parents. While we were there we got to visit with our little brother Rick, his wife and children. The weather was great. We hung out at home, went out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory, IHOP which we renamed I Hope. We rode to the shore of the bay. We visited the Do-Jang where our family practices Tae Kwon Do. We smelled orange blossoms that smelled like heaven, ate tons of tangerines off the trees, got licked by a black puppy and yes we drove everywhere in a PT Cruiser Convertible - the poor man's Toyota MR 2 Spider! Randy & Cynthia driving through the streets of Tampa in a convertible baby! Oh Yeah!
A lion fish swimming in colorful coral at the Florida Aquarium in Tampa, FL.
Cynthia, Randy, Rick, daughter, son and Grandpa - my dad.
My niece, Randy, Grandmommy - my mom, Rick, little niece, and Grandpa.

Time Off

I'm taking the day off, only this time I really mean it. Last week I was running errands after being sick with a cold, so I mostly just needed to rest. Today I'm going to enjoy myself and loaf just a bit. I'm going out to lunch later. Right now I'm just contemplating how I will make it through to the end of the school year. Man it has been so busy, the year is just flying by. Next year will definitely be different. I'd like next year to be better, more organized and less stressful than this school year has been. Thank goodness for acupuncture, otherwise I might not have made it through so well. All I know is that something is going to change, and I'm ready for things to change.

Defining Moments

Well today was one of those days, a gateway between the future and the past. It was cool and rainy. My whole department faced the loss of one of the greatest counselors we ever had. Pamela passed on Tuesday. We celebrated our love for her with her family and friends at the Unity Church of the Hills. It was the stillness, the sadness, the tenderness and the triumph that had a deep impact on my soul. Here I am at the crossroads trying to do what is best to educate children that most people do not enjoy teaching. I try to educate their teachers, inspire them to try new things or try the old things in a new way...but sometimes no matter how hard you try they have trouble understanding. There is a gift from God that makes it easy to "get it"...it does not make you perfect, we still make lots of mistakes along the way, but it is just some kind of insight that allows you to deeply consider seeing the world through the child's eyes. Today as everyone who talked about Pamela knew she had that special gift to intuitively understand another person just by being with them. She instinctively perceived their point of view, their emotion and position and was able to guide them to the right path, without them even being aware she was guiding them. She and her husband were soulmates. Their children know that their mom and dad lived to love them. I will always remember today that it was one of the saddest and happiest days. I was sad that I did not get to spend more time with Pamela, I was sad that I won't see her again for a long time. I am happy that her passion for helping others will inspire us all to do the same, it is just the right thing to do. Her story showed how one woman can make a huge difference in the world.